Dealing with those that do not understand.

Robert2D

Member
I've been into this hobby on and off for most of my teenage and adult life. I'm open and honest about it now, because you reach that stage of life where you just find you stop caring so much about impressing people or 'being cool'... because you at some point you realise that 'being cool' is actually being who you are, and doing things you love.
I've been waving various bits of fantasy and AOS, along with some smaller titles (gorechosen and bloodbowl) under my children's noses, talking to them about it all in depth when they want to, in the hope they will find an interest.... and they both have!!
 
However, my eldest (8 years old) came back from school upset and openly chastising the hobby, because some of his mates at school called him a geek, and a loser for liking it.
 
I definitely had similar experiences growing up. I'm a therapist now, and one of the concepts you learn about in the mental health professions is internalized shame. Basically, people who get discriminated against will sometimes take on the beliefs and values of their bullies. It can be very subtle/implicit or very overt/explicit, and anywhere in between. You see this with internalized homophobia, internalized racism, internalized sexism etc. During my training I talked a bit about "internalized nerdphobia," and I've seen it in my own life and in the lives of both friends and clients.
 
I'll keep my advice personal rather than professional: I think the best thing you can do is twofold. Firstly, take the opportunity to re-examine how you still carry your experiences of bullying and shame with you today. I bet it comes out in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. Take stock of that, process it, and see if you can use the experience as a catalyst for your own growth. If you still feel a lot of shame about your hobbies and interests, your kids will see it. Many kids are really, really good at reading emotions and social signals
 
That is actually great advice, AlexZ. I know a lot of us who have hobbies that are not considered as conventional in today's society have to deal with this form of bullying from even some well-meaning friends who don't realize the effect of their words on others.
 
That is nice to hear and couldn't be more true. It is better to be yourself, do what you love and just find people who get you and you can relate to. Makes life a whole lo easier and fun.
 
You should never try and change people, even though they might doing something wrong, as more often than not you'll fail.
 
I am not sure about never changing anyone, that seems a bit too much, although in this case I kind of agree. I am of those too, just kind of set in my way.
 
I am not sure about never changing anyone, that seems a bit too much, although in this case I kind of agree. I am of those too, just kind of set in my way.
Perhaps i exaggerated but as you stated it can be very challenging and difficult to change someone's mindset.
 
I think people come in different tastes. You can see that people are going to not like something they don't understand. So in that context you have to understand how to deal with such things. Just work with it if possible and I am sure you can find a way.
 
Seems like you just really have to convince them rather then expect any sort of change on its own. I suppose that is how a lot of people make their livings.
 
Dealing with those never understand is a bit difficult sometimes.But I would like to say that it is not impossible.We can convince confused and distubed people towards us by showing them a right path.We can deal with those people by guiding them like a shining star.
 
Dealing with those never understand is a bit difficult sometimes.But I would like to say that it is not impossible.We can convince confused and distubed people towards us by showing them a right path.We can deal with those people by guiding them like a shining star.
Well your best option is to get ignore them.
 
Well Joppie and I learnt this the hard way, those trolls could not flee because they have the stupidity rule which means they are immune to Psychology
 
I agree with you. I think all of us experienced it too. There will be this point really that what others opinion is just a mere words. And what you want to do is the most important of all. As long your happy and contented, iys enough.
 
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